The Pizza Hut in Eagle Pass, Texas Ain't So Bueno (March 8, 2013)

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 They never did bring out the bread sticks. I saw a big ass cockroach run from the kitchen. I'd run from there, too. Lots of dipshits in stupid caps bumbling around scratching their asses. I was hungry so I ate some jalapeno and pepperoni pizza. I ate several slices, as a matter of fact. Hell, I even ate some salad. I love the croutons and banana peppers. My boyfriend shot me a look from across the booth as he watched me wolf down the pizza. I'd just shown him a book I bought about getting off my ass, finally, and losing some weight. He brought me Ben & Jerry's Red Velvet Cake ice cream and I told him he had really bad timing. Well, when he shot me the look at Pizza Hut I said, "I have to do something with my mouth! I can't just sit here and be bored!" After dinner we bought a couple of lottery tickets because we have big plans (Fiji, a house in Corpus Christi, a yacht, matching Jaguars, a pet monkey, an acoustic guitar for him and a microphone for me.) Back at the crib, our casa, a cheap motel room, a kind of paradise no GPS can detect, I gave my boyfriend a Gucci Guilty massage oil massage. Other stuff happened but you don't need to know about any of that. Suffice to say the Eagle Pass Pizza Hut is not a cock blocker. Amen.

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