LOSE WEIGHT (from March 8, 2013)

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Drink black coffee. Smoke cigarettes. Snort speed. Hula hoop. Tap dance. Instead of Snickers and Twix…fiber bars! Instead of Whataburger milkshakes…protein shakes! Instead of Ben & Jerry’s Coffee Heath Bar Crunch…Great Value yogurt, any flavor you desire! Instead of Coca-Cola Classic or Dr. Pepper or Corona or Tecate…water! Instead of…oh fuck, maid is here to clean room. Bye.

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